Massive Live-Action Role Play of “Revolution” in Hamburg, Germany

Residents of the sanctuary city recall what it was like for cosplayers to fly in, burn their city down, and then leave.

ARTISANAL PRESS — The massive live-action role play game “Revolution,” a controversial and international phenomenon, recently held a massive meet-up in the sanctuary city of Hamburg, Germany. Large events such as these typically draw in hundreds or even thousands of cosplayers, who identify themselves by the same all-black head-to-toe costume.

A large contingent of police were on-hand, as a result of the usual mayhem and destruction that accompanies LARP Revolution, though they were unprepared for what RT News described as “a new level of hatred and violence.”

Police speculate that the reckless and indiscriminate nature of the violence done to the sanctuary city — massive fires and destruction, with several hundred casualties — can be attributed to a lack of connection to the city community on the part of long-distance LARPers.

“It’s scary what happened here,” Sandra Janowitz, a teacher in Hamburg, told Reuters reporters. “But I don’t blame the demonstrators. Most were teenagers who don’t know what they’re doing. And many were foreigners. They went home and we have to deal with this mess.”

Initially, the game of Revolution was themed after opposition to a globalist New World Order. However, in the wake of Trump’s election, the game codex has been updated. Now, LARPers fight against capitalism and nationalism, pursuing global communism by any means necessary as the one & only means to defeat the new bad guy: anti-globalist Nazis, who are basically exactly like the 1940s Nazis, except this time, they want nations to keep their borders.

“If people did this in Egypt they would be shot,” said Ibrahim Ali, an Egyptian immigrant to Hamburg who also spoke to Reuters. “The state provides everything: housing, unemployment benefits and education. Yet those people are not happy. I don’t get it.”

Without the “augmented reality” view that gameplayers have (provided via their smartphones), the rest of us cannot see the Nazis they are fighting against.

Though much of the destruction was wrought upon the residents and businesses of Hamburg, there was also a component of team-on-team violence, as well. German live-tweeter Sören Kohlhuber, for instance, reportedly helped one of the armed factions to hunt down a man and a womanTim Pool of the United States, and Lauren Southern of Canada — who were pointing cameras at things. (Both the “Police” and the “Antifa” faction gain points for assaulting journalists; indeed, the rules and costumes for both sides are pretty much the same now.)

“They are crazy. I can’t believe my eyes,” Mohammad Halabi, a Syrian refugee who also spoke to the Reuters News Agency, remarked. “They have such a beautiful country and they’re destroying it.”

Revolution live-action role play starter-kits can be found at Hot Topic retail outlets throughout the nation, or at virtually any campus university store.