Sony Trolls America into Caring About Another Stupid Direct-to-DVD Seth Rogen Flick

Brilliant viral marketing scheme tricks us all one more time.

ARTISANAL PRESS — “I just kind of sat there for a moment, and thought, ‘huh,'” describes Connie Sumer, recalling the moment when her copy of the direct-to-DVD film The Interview arrived from Amazon.com.

She had pre-ordered her copy online on Wednesday, December 17th, just after reading the news that Sony had bowed to pressure from a goddamned international terrorist syndicate, who didn’t want the movie to be released in theaters.

The Interview (2014)
There’s this movie that Sony made… and you can’t see it! In fact, you’re not even allowed to watch this film in theaters in America because of an international terrorist conspiracy!

“At first, I felt bad that Sony had to cancel all of their premiere releases, advertising, and media appearances. I mean, it seemed like nobody would even hear about this movie now! And we all would have heard about it, if it hadn’t been for the terrorists. So I ordered it, because it wasn’t fair to Sony. But then, when the DVD arrived in the mail, and I opened it up, I really just couldn’t believe that I had actually spent money on another fucking Seth Rogen movie,” Sumer exclaims. “A direct-to-DVD movie.”

“I just… wow,” she trails off, shaking her head.

The Fourth Kind (2009)
“An international terrorist conspiracy to stop this film — that’s golden! That’s even better than that time that they told us that the aliens had come to Alaska for real,” Sumer remarks.

“Well, I guess I may as well watch it, right after I’m done watching this documentary,” Sumer concludes, as she places her DVD of Galaxy Quest into her blu-ray player.