Teeny, Tiny Little Hamburgers for the Hungry

City to expand on success of “Tiny Houses for the Homeless” program.

PORTLAND, OR — Building on the success of the Tiny Houses program, which seeks to curb homelessness by placing homeless people into newly-constructed very small houses, Mayor Wheeler has recently announced official support for Tiny Hamburgers: a program to feed the hungry by serving them very small sandwiches.

Roughly fifty percent of the world’s food supply is simply discarded on a daily basis. Analysts believe that we can solve this problem by making very small sandwiches, and selling them on-credit (with a charitably low introductory interest rate) for the price of what a full-sized sandwich would have cost approximately one generation ago.

Teeny, tiny little vegan hamburgers will also be made available for hungry Portlanders who are allergic to protein.