PORTLAND, OR — A local man, whose name has not been released, is recovering at OHSU after a gross misunderstanding led him to voluntarily abstain from making bowel movements for a period of one week. “I had actually started to draw up plans on how I would use the space I reclaimed in my bathroom,” the man is reported to have said.
ARTISANAL PRESS — The technology giant Google has been the subject of some controversy in the news media lately. First, there’s the clandestine construction project on a mysterious barge owned by Google, docked in San Francisco harbor. Then, there’s the citizen blockade of Google buses, also in San Francisco — with some locals going as far as smashing bus windows. A wealthy community near San Francisco was recently vandalized with graffiti reading: “Fuck the 1%.” And now, a growing hostility among the general public directed towards users of the new Google Glass product — also coming to a head, perhaps …continue reading
“Why do we expose ourselves to the scrutiny of those who have never walked in our shoes?” – Daryl Turner, President of the Portland Police Union (after listening to, and dismissing, 8½ hours of testimony from local residents)
PORTLAND, OR — Racism. Harassment. Assault. Brutality. Oppression of political speech. Conspiracy. Cover-up. Surprise attacks on homeless camps. Murder. Even rape. These are crimes that known, specific individuals have been accused of within our community — but you won’t see these crimes on any police blotter. That’s because the perpetrators are, themselves, members of the Portland Police Bureau — an organization which, as a result, is currently under federal investigation by the Department of Justice.
ARTISANAL PRESS — The popular Subway chain of restaurants has been weathering a storm of negative publicity, after a prominent food blogger called the chain out for using the toxic chemical azodicarbonamide — a common filler for yoga mats and rubber shoes — to artificially puff-up their famous sandwich breads. The bad press is now intersecting with Subway’s pre-planned launch of a multi-million dollar “eat yoga fresh™” marketing campaign, encouraging American consumers to get fit — through a combination of regular yoga practice, and eating at Subway restaurants.
PORTLAND, OR — They’re the newspaper who tirelessly shilled for former Mayor Adams and his riot gear-clad goon squad, during the days of the populist Occupy uprising. They’re the newspaper who defended Portland police for pepper-spraying high school students, who were protesting austerity measures. More recently, they went to the mat for the rights of yuppies in the Pearl District to not have to ever see the reality of inner-city homelessness. And now, The Oregonian is standing up for the “little person” once more — by opposing city teachers, who are going on-strike over their unmet demands for improvements within …continue reading
PORTLAND, OR — Last week, The Portland Intelligencer poked a bit of fun at conspiracy theorists, who posted viral videos to the internet alleging that the snow accumulating across the nation — often in regions that are unaccustomed to wintery weather — was somehow tainted or fake. As it turns out, the joke is on us. Scientists at the National Weather Service, in the course of a routine analysis, have made an alarming as-yet-unreported discovery: the snowstorm, drawn down from the Arctic Circle by polar vortex winds, has blanketed the United States in precipitation that is thoroughly contaminated with both …continue reading
PORTLAND, OR — Portland City Council’s war on the homeless population represents, arguably, a living satire of a good city government policy guided by a working moral compass. Despite our flowery reputation for progressive policy & lofty 10+ year plans for the future, in practice, City Hall has a rather stony Dickensian indifference towards present-day suffering.
THE STATIONS OF THE CHRIS remembers the events that took place in Los Angeles, California in the year of our Common Era Two-Thousand-and-Thirteen, in the month of February. In this third of fourteen stations, we remember the events of February 4th, 2013.